Friday, 10 April 2020

Your Quarantine Horror Movie Watch List

Here is your horror movie watch list, curated by me, a woman who's seen a lot of movies, podcasts about them weekly, has written and spoken about horror, and is not taken seriously.


Isolation

It's out there, patient and invisible. We shut ourselves up inside our homes, but we can't escape its presence. It lingers in the gutters, between the panels of our secure moments, waiting for us to touch our face.

Solo

All new camp counselors must go on a two-day solo trip on a nearby island. Which is said to be haunted. No big deal, right? Wrong! Gillian is not alone on the island, and her benign solo adventure turns into a true survival test.

The Interior

The woods are creepy at night. What's making all those noises out there, in the dark? Is it just animals? Or is it your own imagination, your crumbling sanity made manifest?


Uncertainty

Daily we ride a roller coaster of emotion. We're hopeful, then fearful, then panicked, then hungry. We're bombarded with conflicting messages and predictions, politically-motivated op-eds, and TikTok videos. Who are we to believe about what's really going on? How long will this "new normal" last? When will our Amazon package arrive? None can say.

Containment

Imagine waking up to find yourself trapped in your apartment. Imagine not being able to text or google, and the only contact from the outside is a message to remain calm. Now imagine that you've banded together with your neighbours and together you try to figure out what's going on but the conversation just goes in circles because no one has any new information and the doctor you've kidnapped is unforthcoming. Finally imagine that you're determined to survive this thing, whatever it is.

The Lapage's Demon

Is it possible to predict every outcome of every scenario imaginable given a certain set of circumstances? Truly death is the only constant, inevitable. It's just a matter of when.

In the Mouth of Madness

Horror novelist Sutter Cane has disappeared, but his work endures. In more ways than one. When his investigation leads him to the should-be-fictional town of Hobb's End, insurance investigator John Trent finds more questions than answers. Primary among them being, what the hell is going on in this movie? Is he going crazy? Is he a character in a book? Let me know if you figure it out.


Time Marches Ever Onward but has Lost All Meaning and We are Adrift in a Sea of Tuesdays

You've been wearing the same comfy outfit for days. Nothing changes inside or out. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes it rains. The monotony of work-a-day life has been replaced with the monotony of work-from-home life, now punctuated by video conferences instead of coffee breaks. At least you don't have to put on pants.

Happy Death Day

Happy birthday dear friend! Better enjoy it while it lasts because it will be your last, which you will relive again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again until you figure out who killed you.

Triangle

A day cruise turns deadly when Jess and her friends are stalked by a figure with an axe. Worse yet, they seem to stuck in a loop in which they die over and over and you get the point. Only you don't get the point, not really, because this movie is a total mind-fuck.


Existential Dread

All of it, the physical distancing and social isolation, the uncertainty, the perpetual motion of the eternal return have at last instilled within us our sense of place in this world. And that place is neither safe nor secure. Our insignificance is overwhelming; we don't matter. We are matter, and nothing more.

The Void

A mad doctor opens a portal to a dark dimension but not before the irresistible influence of The Void is felt by those trapped inside his hospital.

The Prince of Darkness

A priest asks a scientist for help studying a religious artifact, but neither one is prepared to fully understand what's really going in with that thing in the basement. A fun surprise awaits fans of DJ Shadow.

Body Parts

What is the true nature of being? Are we, each of us, a singular and unique whole, or are we a sum of parts, each one imbued with its own vital essence? Where does the soul live and, more importantly, where does it go after we've shed this mortal coil? Also, is it possible to transplant a head?

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