Saturday, 28 July 2018

Nail Gun Massacre

Nail Gun Massacre is a weird movie. Also, a bad movie. A weirdly bad movie. It's your typical rape-revenge fare, but with a slight twist. A twist that could have worked, but doesn't.

Here's the killer all dressed up:



It's pretty clear that's a woman under the camo. And she's none too tall.

Here's the killer, unmasked:


And here he is standing next to his sister, the woman who should be the killer:


There is simply no way Bubba could be the camouflaged nail gun killer. I get what the film was going for, I really do, but it doesn't come by its twist honestly. And for that reason the movie, on the whole, fails to make the grade.

And then there's the last shot:


This puzzling image is accompanied by a musical sting, an ominous tone meant to suggest the killings aren't over. The man on the left is the handsomest doctor is all of Christendom. He's been working with the Sheriff to figure out who's killing the town's carpenters. Dr. Sexy refuses to believe the sister is the killer. He's right, of course. But what to make of the two of them walking hand-in-hand into the sunset? Are they an item? Will he avenge her now that her brother's dead and can no longer carry her burden? Or will she take her own revenge on whoever's left?

That's a valid question, because the killer nail guns everyone he comes across. Not just the men who raped his sister, but anyone in his eye line:


Girls.


Couples.


And a hitchhiker just looking for a ride.


I don't know who this dead woman is, and neither does the movie.

There are many ways to (try to) explain why Nail Gun Massacre is such a mess, and each one is just as believable/unbelievable as the next. Suffice to say, and at the risk of repeating myself, this movie is bad in a bad way.

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