End of the Worl--Year Review: 2012

It's that time of year again, when I make excuses for not seeing a lot of new movies in theatres. Except this year I did see a bunch of movies in theatres, specifically Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar (Fantastic Fest) and The Bloor Hot Docs Cinema (Toronto After Dark). So here it is, the best and worst films I watched either at home, at someone else's house, on a plane, or in theatres.

Hot: The Avengers
Yeah, it's a Joss Whedon superhero movie.
Fugly: Prometheus
In truth, I liked Prometheus. It looked fantastic, was fun to watch, and generated a lot of talk around the dinner table. But the film is so flawed in so many ways that I have to rank it among this year's worst.

Wish I'd seen it sooner: Angel Heart
A detective story set largely in New Orleans in which one man's search for a missing person becomes a personal journey of self discovery. Also, there's voodoo.
Wish I'd seen it never: Playback
Christian Slater skulks around in the background of a movie about a dead guy who can magically possess people through a video camera. I think. I don't remember much about it, which is a blessing really.

Sonoshee drives hard in Redline

So amazing: I Saw the Devil
Korean thriller about a cop pursuing a serial killer. As good, if not better than Silence of the Lambs, which is the benchmark for cop/serial killer movies.
So disappointing: Skew
Found footage movie about three people driving across the States. One of them thinks he can kill people with his camera. The others do nothing about it.

For real!: The Conspiracy
Brilliant mockumentary about two guys investigating a conspiracy theory who get in way over their heads. Forces the audience to question the very legitimacy of the film itself.
Seriously?: AvH: Alien vs Hunter
Possibly the worst The Asylum film yet.

Caution: CGI spiders and plot holes ahead. (AvH)

Wish I could see it again for the first time: Redline
A balls-out amazing film about a balls-out amazing car race. Anime at it's best!
A fucking waste of time and resources: Long Pigs
If you want to make a movie about an evil power company, make a movie about an evil power company. Don't make an allegorical film about cannibals that's over two hours long, is full of contradictions, and has no ending.

Nerdtastic: Lloyd the Conqueror
Thrill to see Mike "Bubbles" Smith as an evil genius who conspires to rule the Calgary larping community.
Spare me: V/H/S
Indeed, some of the segments in this found footage anthology are pretty good. But the framing story is so bad that it lowers the tone of the entire film and predisposes the viewer to dismiss everything else as worthless crap.

I got fifty bucks on Reptilius. (The Cabin in the Woods)

Surprisingly good: Dredd
I've never before used "beautiful" to describe an action movie, but Dedd is, in parts, quite beautiful. Rare is the director who understands the proper use and limitations of 3D.
Worse than imagined: If a Tree Falls
If you need to close your movie with a lecture on social theory in order to explain the point of your film, then you might want to consider giving up filmmaking altogether.

Winner winner: I Declare War
Kids engage in an afternoon game of war. It won the Audience Award for Best Film at Fantastic Fest. 'Nuff said.
Big chicken dinner: Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes
I tried to explain this movie to my friend. "That sounds like the dumbest thing ever," he said.

The second-dumbest thing ever might be ATM.

Next gen: Antiviral
Cronenberg's kid shows off his skill and weirdness.
Should be sterilized: Nightmare Alley
I feel like kind of a jerk bashing a no-budget indie flick but this one is just so terrible it needs a public service  announcement warning viewers to keep away.

Hidden gem: Bedeviled
A slow-burning thriller about one woman's awful suffering. When she's finally had enough, the film switches grears and becomes an brutal tale of vengeance and retribution.
Conspicuously terrible: ATM
Three people are menaced in an ATM vestibule by a hooded figure who spends a lot of time in back of the building, which would make escape super easy if the captives--and the script--weren't so fucking stupid.

Pictured: style. Not pictured: substance. (Beyond the Black Rainbow)

OMG: The Cabin in the Woods
Joss Wedon strikes again with his meta horror about kids and cabins and the horrors that befall kids in cabins.
WTF: Beyond the Black Rainbow
If someone can explain to me what's going on here without using the words "experiment," "retro," or "dissociative disorder" then I'll gladly re-evaluate my position.

Honourable mention: Battleship

Battleship is the beloved "board" game somehow brought to life as an action spectacular. The film is way better than it has any right to be, and although it aggressively pushes a pro-armed forces agenda, it's so damned fun to watch you don't even care.

8 Underrated Villains in Horror Movies

Horror is as much about the villain as it is the victim, sometimes more so.  A good horror villain can strike fear in your heart with simply a look, his very presence in the room will turn your blood cold.  He might also be charming, pitiful, or simply annoying.  Sometimes terribly human, sometimes not, the villain embodies fear, disgust, anger, and madness.  As an agent of chaos, the villain wants to “watch the world burn.”  As a man of order, he wants to bend you to his will.

All these conflicting characterizations have appeared onscreen in one body or another.  Some have been more successful than others.  And while the Leatherfaces, and Jokers, and Agent Smiths of the screen world have carved out a place for themselves in the collective film consciousness, still more equally if not superior villains languish in the dark corners of the genre.

Brad McHargue of I Love Horror and I have joined forces to bring you a list of 8 overlooked and underrated horror villains.  From people to places to things, these monsters are largely dismissed because the films in which they appear are themselves underrated, or their presence and actions are overshadowed by other things happening on screen.

Johns, as seen in Pitch Black

Pitch Black toes the line between sci-fi and horror, but the film is enough of a survival movie to warrant a place on this list.  Although Riddick is positioned to be the bad guy (or more appropriately, the anti-hero), Johns is the real villain.  The bounty hunter who’s escorting Riddick to prison, Johns proves himself to be completely heartless as he thinks nothing of sacrificing his fellow crash survivors in order to save his skin from carnivorous monsters. 

A drug-addicted asshole, Johns’ humourless demeanor does nothing to lighten the mood.  To his credit, he frees Riddick from his restraints and promises to cut him loose entirely in return for Riddick’s help in getting everyone off the planet.  But, because Johns is a conniving bastard, his real plan is to just leave everyone else but he and Riddick behind.  You’re better off putting your faith in the murderous Furion than in the badge-carrying, bonded lawman because with Riddick you know where you stand, and with Johns you only think you do.

Trickster, as seen in Brainscan

Brainscan is a video game and Trickster guides the players through the levels, encouraging them to finish the game.  Though Trickster exists inside the game, he appears to you as a physical entity, inhabiting your space.  He can move about your room, touch your stuff, and make a mess.  Trickster, as his name suggests, is a playful being, much like Puck, whose antics are just shy of malice.  Yet he oozes malevolence as his words of encouragement slowly morph into thinly veiled threats; Trickster will seriously fuck up your life if you do not do exactly as he says.

Brainscan is by no means a great movie but it does have this great show-stopping character.  Trickster grabs your attention and holds it hostage while Edward Furlong tries desperately to extricate himself from the terrible mess he’s in.  Trickster is sly, manipulative, and completely unconcerned with your well-being outside the world of the game.

The Creep, as seen in Creep

In the London Underground dwells a monster.  His given name is Craig.  He haunts the sewers and the Tube with his army of rats, waiting for the unfortunate to cross his path.  Possibly he was grown in a jar.  The Creep looks like a man, sort of, and he can talk like a man, in a way.  But he is not really a man—more a thing that skulks and stalks and kills.

The Creep is wholly unknowable.  He lives and breathes and eats like we do, but that’s where the similarities between us begin and end.  The Creep plays at being human, mimicking our actions and speech.  He also makes other noises in the dark, a screeching, keening sound that echoes in the halls.  He kills with abandon and is completely unaware of the brutality of his actions.

Ash and Mother, as seen in Alien

One would think the actual alien would be the Big Bad in a film called Alien, but it is Ash, an android, and Mother, the ship’s computer, who collectively victimize the crew of Nostromo.  Suggesting the two conspire to make things as difficult as possible for the human characters might be going too far, but both Ash and Mother express little concern for everyone’s well-being.  Once the Alien is discovered, it must then be recovered.  At all costs.

In the sequel, the issue of murderous robots is addressed in the character of Bishop.  An android similar to Ash, Bishop takes pains to point out the Ash-unit was a flawed design and his own programming strictly prevents him from harming any human being.  That a computer can actively seek to destroy life is the foundation for a great many films, but Ash’s outward normalcy and humanness is richly contrasted by his literal heartlessness, and Mother’s would-be benevolence and caring for “her” crew is simply a function of her name—the computer does not feel.

Click this link to be magically transported to I Love Horror where Brad will introduce you to four more woefully underrated villains.